Strange title, I know... but it's not like I'm actually "leaving" her or she is "leaving" me on any type of permanent basis. This morning at 4:00 am (EST) Lindsey and I got in my brother’s Civic and drove several hours from Jacksonville to Orlando where I dropped her off to fly home at the regional airport for Christmas.
It’s weird; this is the very last Christmas for our entire lives that we’ll be single. It’s a crazy thought. The even crazier one is that one year ago I had no idea what was right around the corner for me. If I had known, I wonder what I might have done differently these last 12 months. Would I have rigorously saved money, would I have read a lot of marriage books, would I have been more diligent with time spent in the gym? Probably all of the above.
When I think about all the things I could have done in comparison to all of the things I actually have done, the difference is a bit surprising – not because I haven’t done any of them, but because I actually have. It’s time of year when everyone begins thinking about resolutions and rather than thinking about major life-altering decisions or breaking bad habits, I think the key word here is INTENSITY.
I think with most of us, when we set our minds to do something, we’re able. We’ve already gotten to a point beyond denial and are aware that something needs to change. I think where the problem is discovered is in the implementation of the strategy, in our intensity. I’ve read some books, I’ve saved some money and I’ve been to the gym – but not like my marriage depends on it. Now, is Lindsey going to leave me because I haven’t read a book? No, she sure won’t – but, because I have read books, it’s broadened my perspective and outlook on integral components of healthy marriages.
Had I known one year ago that my Christmas Cards were not going to be sent from me alone, but from “us” – would my intensity have increased? I’m not saying it’s bad to strive towards breaking habits, actions or thought processes that can be detrimental to our lives holistically. These are changes that must and need to be addressed. What I am suggesting on the other hand is setting realistic goals and expectations for ourselves and properly managing our intensity.
Training is essential prior to running in a marathon. It is an unrealistic expectation to believe that without any training you can go out and win a 26-mile race. So much of our success then, is dependant upon our ability to properly define our goals and expectations in a comprehensive and reasonable way. Then, in order to digest and process that information it is important to be able to record or measure those outcomes to monitor our progress.
If the intensity at which we set out is unrealistic we will be unable to accomplish our goals resulting in failure, whereas the same person in a duplicate situation with amended goals and expectations will find great success. Pace yourselves in this new season, embracing proper expectations and watch your dreams flourish and your vision expand. As for me, I’ve got some reading to do!
1 Comment
It's amazing the things a road trip can do for you! After a suprise announcement on December 12, 2008 that's exactly what Linds and I did... New Orleans road trip! Wow, I've never had a holiday with the "in-laws" before, but I've gotta say, for a first one this was incredible! I guess one of the best things about Lindsey is that I get to marry my best friend. Spending time together is just so incredible, because we get to laugh, talk (yes, we're both talkers which make for some LONG conversations) and hang out - there's nothing better! |